


with heart so full i can't explain

by oscarbilde



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Superman (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Canon Jewish Character, Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Holidays, Jewish Bruce Wayne, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Wayne Family, everyone is jewish, jason todd loves musicals, jewish clark kent, rubs my grubby little jewish hands all over every single dc character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21527332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscarbilde/pseuds/oscarbilde
Summary: The Wayne household seder is a sight to behold (read: incredible chaotic nightmare), or--Every character in DC is Jewish and you can't stop me, or--Batpassover
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my roommate and i were listing every character in DC who should be Jewish and we decided on all of them. so, here's a truly astonishing number of DC characters celebrating Passover at the Wayne household.

"Can we start the search now?"  
"Come on, we're all done!"  
"Yeah, B, let's get it going!"  
"Aren't you a little old for this, Jaybird?"  
"Listen, if Dick can still do it when he's literally getting married this month--"

The search for the afikoman at the Wayne household's seder was no ordinary search. Every year, Alfred set up an elaborate treasure hunt/obstacle course/training gauntlet/labyrinth and let the children (and Dick, Jason, Barbara, and anyone else who was determined) loose.

This year, Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, Damian, Duke, Harper and Cullen Row, Conner and Jon Kent, Kara, Zatanna, and a drone piloted by Barbara waited at the start. As they scrambled off in all directions, Clark leaned over to Bruce and said,

"Are they always this intense?"

Bruce smirked. "We toned it down this year. Had to minimize the chance of Tim teaming up with someone only to betray them at the last minute. Or Damian releasing a menagerie to sniff the afikoman out. And we had to confiscate Jason's tranq darts. Plus, Barbara-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Don't know what else I expected from your kids."

"What, you don't set up lead walls and giant rocks for Conner and Jon to break through?" Bruce asked incredulously.

"Nope, we use the same rules Ma and Pa did when I was growing up--no powers, no cheating. The penalty for breaking the rules was none of Ma's kugel for a month." Clark shuddered. "A fate worse than death."

A loud crash followed by a string of Spanish cursing rang out from somewhere inside the maze. Bruce calmly made himself another charoset sandwich, ignoring Clark's worried glance. More shouts came from the maze, unmistakably Steph's voice cursing Damian.

After a few more minutes, they heard another shout: "GOT IT!" Dick came running out of the maze's entrance, the others trailing close behind. Nearly everyone--save Cass--sported bruises, ripped clothes, and dirty faces, as if they had just come back from a mission. Dick lifted the folded cloth aloft, grinning triumphantly, and strode over to a nearby keyboard. He hit a few keys and a computerized voice rang out. "WINNER: GRAYSON, DICK." A song blared out from hidden speakers--Clark, unfortunately, recognized it as "I Will Survive."

"...they all have their own preprogrammed victory songs," Bruce sighed. "At least it wasn't Jason. He always picks You Can't Stop the Beat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be updated very sporadically, but stay tuned for:  
> conner kent's first wayne seder  
> the gang watching prince of egypt  
> dick grayson sitting at the kids' table  
> dickbabs  
> the Great Wine Debacle, or: jason gets mad.
> 
> special thanks again to my roommate for ranting with me about this at 1AM and giving me all the ideas.
> 
> thanks for reading! drop a kudos or comment, i really appreciate it!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce's least favorite guest arrives.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Bruce, flat-voiced and dark-faced. "And what did you bring?"

Hal Jordan stood in the doorway, holding what appeared to be a vat of matzoh ball soup. He gave Bruce a dazzling smile. "I got an invite! Cute little animated ecard with a bunch of bats and birds and shit flying around. It said to bring food, so I found an old family recipe."

Bruce took a deep breath, picturing the recently-recaptured Riddler in his cell. "Alfred makes the matzoh ball soup."

"Sorry, man. You can never have too much soup, though. Especially the way your kids eat." Hal stepped into the foyer and turned around. "Where's your kitchen?"

"You weren't actually in--" Bruce paused when he saw a cluster of figures waving at Hal from the next room. Not for the first time and not for the last time, he felt the beginnings of a headache that could only be brought on by the trickster demons he called his children. "Follow them."

And he closed the door, thinking about how to program the security system to keep out a certain Lantern. Tim would find a way around it, but it's the thought that counts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a ridiculous amount of fun writing batlantern being pissy at each other. There's more to this coming, I promise, but I can't promise it'll be any time soon. Leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed it, or say hi on tumblr (oscarbilde)!

**Author's Note:**

> this will be updated very sporadically, but stay tuned for:  
> conner kent's first wayne seder  
> the gang watching prince of egypt  
> dick grayson sitting at the kids' table  
> dickbabs  
> the Great Wine Debacle, or: jason gets mad.
> 
> special thanks again to my roommate for ranting with me about this at 1AM and giving me all the ideas.
> 
> thanks for reading! drop a kudos or comment, i really appreciate it!!!


End file.
